Several years ago, I had set out to pray the Lord's Prayer every day. Things didn't go as I had expected. Looking back on it, my attempt to pray may have been my first experience of letting words slip from my head to my heart.

I thought it would be fun to reconstruct this meditation, if that is possible for anyone.

I had taken a seminar on the Lord's Prayer. The seminar included an extensive workbook which the seminar participants were to use while praying the prayer at home. The book was very noisy, looking back on it. But I set out the first morning to use it. The Spirit (to use a word from my religion) led me in quite another direction from where the book had intended to take me.

An explanation: my words and thoughts are in regular type. The Spirit's sentiments, as I recall them expressed to me, are in small type. I use a smaller type to emphasize that the Spirit's means of expression during this meditation was not words. Instead, it amounted to the slightest nudges or the faintest inspirations. "Hm" indicates the slightest assent. Not even a word, or even a smile. More like a Father's approving glance. "Heh" could be a glance and a smile. So here goes.

Our Father
Stop.

Stop? Why?

Our Father who art in heaven

Where are you?
Where are you?

Stay at "Our Father"?
Hm.

Our Father.
Hm.

Our Father

It's quiet in here.

It's dark in here.

Empty in here.

Say it.
Our Father

Empty is scary.

I think I don't believe that God is my Father.
Hm.

I don't see God as my Father.

I don't believe I'm loved.

[Lust]

[Distraction]

That's lust and distraction.

I should say it.
Hm.

Our Father. That's all, huh?

It's just words so far.
It starts there.

Just words. Our Father

Our Father

Our Father
Picture it.

Hm.
Heh.

I'll be back tomorrow.
Hm.

Postscript: this sort of thing went on for two months. I never got further into the Lord's Prayer than "Our Father" during that time. God was slowing me down so I could begin to discover my own heart.

- Peter